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Wednesday, August 25, 2004
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last entry for....
::jufFeNder | | 8/25/2004 12:24:00 AM |
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if everyone was granted a wish tt would come true every year on their birthday then on my birthday, i'd wish for an extra wish for you.... if anyone could have anything they want for their birthday on my birthday, i'd want to pluck a star for you but for this year, i won't be anywhere near you maybe a few days later i'll get to see you but i sure need to move on with or without you may the stars that i've plucked and merged to form your name fulfils the wish that i made on my last birthday just to let u guys know.... i wun be blogging in until the second week of september when i'll begin to settle down and take on more responsibilities. but for now, i'll still drop by the tagboard and if u guys need me to be anywhere just give me a call or drop me a message or watever.... till then friends... i'll be back on the 2nd week of september and i'll kick it off with a long long story tt i wanted to tell u guys abt.... cheers and do take care....
Monday, August 23, 2004
It's really amazing how your mind works when it's tired. u tend to imagine all the weirdest things in the world... and it can only happen at tt split moment when u just wanna escape from reality.
but yeah sometimes i do escape into tt world of mine when i just wanna get a way from everything. maybe i'll tell u a story i made up when the time is right... say... errrmmm beginning of sept? first week? so stay tuned for tt story. cos it seems to be repeating in my head and the story doesn't seem to end. it's like i keep on adding on stuffs wic made new possibilites appear for the story to unfold..... nvm... tt's for later..... KIV a lil....
got nothing to update actually. just feeling bored. think i'll sleep early today... tml then... T.I.R.E.D
"missing you.... hate this feeling...."
Sunday, August 22, 2004
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so long astoria
::jufFeNder | | 8/22/2004 11:28:00 PM |
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So.... wat did i do today.... well i've been goin in and out of the house a bit. helped my bro with his invitation card a bit. went to eat a bit. went to work a bit. slept a bit. took photos a bit. and now on the computer a bit.
oh yes... i forgot to inform u guys... almost got all my choice CDs.... during payday, i went to get LostProphets - Start Something..... and just yesterday, i went to get The Ataris - So Long Astoria.... tell u something for all u alternative soundwave addicts.... BOTH OF EM TOTALLY ROCK! well LostProphets got their Nu-metal theory goin and yeah they sound good. great lyrics and great sounds too. ataris is yeah as per normal, they get all those riffs out and his lyrics seem much more mind provating to me now. though the album's been out like a while, i only managed to get it now. yeah but i'm so glad i did....
haah... anyway who works on sunday?? jufF does. ok ok let's start from the beginning shall we. hmmm tt sounds like a cliche. anyway, i was awaken at 11 today and yeah the day started from there. but hell i dun wanna elaborate. i had an event to cover today. it's a soccer match of Home United against a cheena club. yeah pretty action packed though i dun watch local league much. so i was like the ONLY photographer and i feel so pressured cos it's my first time covering sports for a change. but it's quite ok... finally found my spot into the second half and just took pictures from there. and tml there'll be another event at 10 as well. damn... but i think the main thing that takes my mind off work is the joy in photography. cos u wun know wat's gonna happen next and when the expressions and actions are caught within tt split second, it's just irreplaceable. yeah so tt's a bonus part for me. cos photography is the in thing for me now. and i'm goin for a 12 weeks course on photography starting from the 6th of sept. yeah. so i gotta juggle work and the course altogether. but it'll be fun. and today i helped my younger bro on his invitation card. well he's the drum major already wat! so gotta do all these stuff before he gets promoted.... so he gotta make these cards and invite some pple to attend the ceremony. he's pretty much a computer idiot! he knows zit abt computers. he dun even know how to surf the net properly let alone do work on the comp. hope he wakes up soon. but i did the honours of designing some shtuff for him. yeah a bit of photoshop here and there. so yeah i hope everything turns out fine.
and yes september's comin.... the time of joy and laughter and the pre raining season. yes it'll rain in december like it always do. so september is comin... yey! so what do i have planned for september? some events are already marked on my calendar. but it's not full yet. soon it'll be i guess. the early week of sept is already kinda booked. so there's like minor slots to fill up for the rest of the weeks.
so on a positive note... let's just get boring august over and done with and welcome september shall we.....
'can u sense my pretence...'
Friday, August 20, 2004
Sorry for the short stint of silence. i didn't pay the bills. haah! yeah so they cut it off... and my tv too! but i got it reconnected cos i FORKED OUT watever i had left so tt the family and enjoy a lil bit more at home. yes i'm talking abt the tv....
so wat happened during these days of silence. hmmm i do check my blog at the office.... but i didn't really update it cos i dun wanna get the info leaked out somehow. let me see.... hmmmm where shld i start... where did i left off? oh yah, fireworks...... had fun recording it down. yeah, although i came like errrmmm quite early, the place was super packed!! but i managed to climb onto the high wall under the bridge wic not so many after me can do except for some hokkien speaking non locals. think they're from malaysia or something. but they added a lil bit of commentary to my video... so imagine watching fireworks with hokkien or cantonese narration! plus the hoooo-aaahhhss and such... yeah. and i was supposed to upload the vid and get it passed to narz. but when i got home, my sis was using the comp for her schoolwork so i din bother. the next day when i tried it, it just wun detect my bloody cam! lunchbox! and worst still... the cut me off from the cable service! totally damned. so i went to work the next day and before i went for work, narz msged and asked me where her video was. haah! i thought to myself, sure am gonna get it this time... but hey luck was on my side..... i went to the film shop in the morn to get it developed but it wasn't open. so i thought die die also must get it done by lunchtime. but before i went lunch i was asking ard whether they had those shops anywhere near novena. then effandi, a colleague of mine, said...'alah, simple, u go 4th floor find ur senior. he can do it for u...' straightaway my eyes went blinking! heeh... yeah so i settled it unconventionally in the office. and in the evening had dinner with narz and i passed the stuff to her before she went off for her religious class which she had her exam paper... pheeww....
but let's get back to reality shall we. well i wrote some articles which i thought were good. but in the end i still got a lot to learn when it came back and i had to do a major readjustment to it. but i got commended for it. yeah maam winnie said it was better than the first one and guess wat, the first article tt i did, i took like 2 hrs perfecting it.... then the next one wic is better in a sense, i took 30 mins....... wat the hell!! something's wrong with me. but seeing my work printed on the magazine is just rad... the pictures that i took, the words i wrote. headliners... layout of the mag... it's just rad.... kinda like it. and it's not tt stressing of a job. just get ur work done on time and everybody will be happy provided u do a good job. yeah so i'm happy, everybody's happy....
and today i had a basketball game as part of the healthy lifestye friday that we're having. and yeah i sweat like a lot. but it's great i tell u... enjoyed playing basketball for the first few times in my life.....
but yeah, work's coming in and sometimes i see it as fun to cover events while some events are just plain boring and i have to crack my head to come up with a wonderful way to tell it. but yeah tt's the challenge isn't it... yeah bring it on man!
and they're talking abt watching Alien Vs Predator tml.... i wanna catch it... see these old skool bad guys slug it out and make us human beings look damn useless. whoever wins, we lose. haah nice caption.... anyway, i wrote a lil something again during my lunch break the other day... thought i'd punch it in as THIS IS MY BLOG isn't it....
i write...
not knowing what i'll think of next
but it's been lingering and repeating....
the scenes i put down in words
the smell that i painted on a canvas
the thoughts i see in a dream....
none of em is real
but i live the fantasy
just becos it brings you near me
even though u're far....
the music just rings in my ear
brings back the memories.....
Saturday, August 14, 2004
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LETHARGICITY
::jufFeNder | | 8/14/2004 10:40:00 PM |
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Oh well i'm freakin tired. and happy it's the weekends. so.... wat else?
alrighty, so i'm just feeling tired. dunno why. lethargic is the word man. everything seems not okay to me. it just dun feel right man. i felt really agitated when i see my dad. so tt's like wrong.... and watever my mum said to me, it just went in the left ear and comes out the right. it's just those moodswings i have i guess. but hell it's been a long time since i had one. can't play soccer tml cos i wanna catch the fireworks. gonna be there a lil early to book a place. yes, kiasu singaporean but i wun be as jialat as most of em.
i hit the town today alone. cos no one wants to accompany me. so i went jalan2 with my earphones stuck to my eardrums. and i was like to hell with everything. i just wanna get some stuffs for myself and get one project wic i've been working on for someone for quite a while now done. gonna get the finished product end of this month at most and just give it to tt someone when the time comes. and i bought this shirt for $20. yeah i dunno why i paid $20 bucks for it but maybe it's the design. it's just nice i guess. drunknmunky it says. and a wallet [yes finally] for 25 bucks..... it's a simple billabong wallet. wanted to get something made of leather, but neh... i'm not up for tt yet.
oh yah, jamming on friday with tejay and the new guys i met. well they're like way younger than i am. all pursuing O levels i guess! yah tt big of a gap. but hell they play well man. there's chris who has this GIBSON hell guitar. tt one is pretty famous ard the world and it costs a bomb. and he's good at it. he's like a metal kinda guy. then there's darious, who's on rhythms and he has this flying V gibson as well. u know how much tt thing costs? hell i wun wanna get anywhere when it gets damaged for no apparent reason. but tt guy is also cool. and he can manage the guitar pretty well. the bassist is ernest, who's the laid back, anything goes, "yeah tt's cool" kinda guy and he came still in his school uniform and nerdy look. reminds me of someone. and yeah there's tejay who plays the drums... pretty good i shld say. and from the jamming session i had with em... all i can say is they're like... troubled youths... seriously... they're troubled youths... they're in a world where everything seems to go against them but yet they enjoy the music that they make. we played a couple of green day, blur, american hi-fi and the song wic i can't sing slayer's raining blood, jet's are u gonna be my girl and some white stripes tunes.... so when they passed me the guitar to get more music goin... i got incubus' drive and my original, secrets in my head played with the band. but there's plenty of room to improve but they gotta get their books out first! clear the bloody exams first man. well for me, i still prefer acoustics but a band performance once a while is cool. but i really wanna cover lost prophets if tt's possible. arrgghhh to much thoughts already. one step at a time jufF.
alrighty..... i'm tired, lethargic, watever u call it......
hey friday...
sunday called and he wun be comin
tt leaves another week on a hold
well what's the difference
when all along nothing's changed
and the world's still cold
humans with no faces
heads with no ears
no one can hear the pain
no one to see the tears
but it's all monotonous now
even when people can see
they choose to ignore
the agony others could feel
so stop this rampage
of the devil within
just pray to God
for him to clear your sins
see the world as it is
with the wonders it may bring
let sunday come again
and let friday rest its wings....
may god watch over our brothers and sisters of humanity who are suffering from the selfless acts of humankind.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
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car-sesat "lost car"
::jufFeNder | | 8/12/2004 12:37:00 AM |
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Alrighty, i went to catch kasetsart university wind symphony at the esplanade today. i mean yesterday.... sleepy already, so pardon me.... and narz told me tt it's actually pronounced as 'car sesat' wic in direct malay translation means... "lost car"...... ok, i went with narz... yes all the goo-goo gaa-gaas will flow now... i actually got the tix like on tuesday? so last minute huh? but hey the concert was good. the band tt is.... they have this monstruos capacity to control the music they're playing. be it the crescendos, sforzandos, fortes and watever else... they just manipulate the air in them to make the sound of music so nice... the solos and everything is just.... mesmerizing... well at least they can move to the music and just entertain us a little. and i hate the silence in esplanade...... it's really deafening. u know tt still air where no one seems to make a single noise. dang! i was like in a vacuum when tt happened. so it was nice seeing narz after so long. yeah when was the last time? can't remember..... or maybe it was for her concert at VCH. yeah tt was it. anyway, i had the time to spare and why not just listen to some good stuff with good company.
well i'm really damn sleepy rite now...... reached home at ard 11.30 or so like tt.... still gonna work later on. hmmm.... maybe goin to ubin in the evening as well. event to cover there. yeah, so peter parker will be deployed once again. sorry but i can't save u guys in the evening.... not free ah.
"i am so dumb... cool control there jufF... real slick!"
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
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jufF is the man!
::jufFeNder | | 8/10/2004 09:57:00 PM |
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Haah.. i think i can find most of the songs tt suits my mood these days. this latest piece of video is called "I'm Not Okay" by my chemical romance. pretty rad... i mean sad song by a totally rad.... i mean sad band... hmmm who comes up with the band's name anyway? My Chemical Romance. maybe something tt's artificially conjured up. something like a concoct drink or formula. well tt's i perceive it to be. come to think of it, maybe it's just something not real. u know.... like the romance is made up... it's all chemically mixed... and not the perfect chemistry of sorts. and this song is like... a representation of wat i am rite now. well for now tt is. man i wish i was in a band like em... pretty cool....
anyway, i'm like gonna have so much in my hands soon. dun mention work lah... tt's like progressive work. family wise, i think i gotta play a bigger role soon cos apparently we're on a sinking boat. and my mum's talking abt selling the house and everything else. maybe my goon brother shld wake up real soon. or maybe he's already woken up. but he just realised he's in deep shit and dunno how to get out of it. tt's where the word "FAMILY" comes in. tt's where i come in..... i'm thinking of selling away the bike. get some dough out of it and just help him out. hey i can take the bus can't i? it's just abt filling up the card, then check it at the bus and off the bus and everything else. damn..... tt does not sound nice.... no more expressway? no more wind in my face, no more smell of gas [yeah i can live with tt].... but just no more sense of 'ride'? gotta give and take rite? seems like in this life, i'm giving more than i'm taking.... if tt's wat life is abt, taking the sacrifice and not expect anything from it... then i'm living the life. sometimes pple take me for granted, assume tt i'll always be there and just do watever it takes to help em out. maybe one day i'll be gone and they'll start to think... hey... he's been there for me.... but dun hold back when u're helping other pple. tt's a valuable lesson i've learnt. cos maybe they'll forget bout wat u did to help em out when they're in deep shit, but the ability to help a little plays a huge role in making their life better. yeah so give more and take watever comes in return may it be less or more... just be glad...
i shld learn to be more positive like i said before....... shit happens once a while... but still there'll be pple for me to turn to to make me smile a lil... yeah so it's not so bad.....
Monday, August 09, 2004
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the truth abt cheese-buns and lunchboxes
::jufFeNder | | 8/09/2004 12:54:00 AM |
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Bloody lunch box! cheese bun! when u want these gadgets to work for you, they'll just screw up! cheese bun!! fish man! aaarrrggghhh guess i have to find the cd and just reinstall the software all over again. irritating man.... freakin cheese bun!
[all these words are substituted to eradicate any unwanted vocabulary in this section... go figure]
oh well, just came back from an 'ego' trip. went to see the fireworks WIC I CAN'T UPLOAD THE FREAKIN PHOTOS. and i went jalan2 on my own. just to pass the time and just look at pple. if only i had my camera with me.... well my sis took both the DVcam and the digicam! wat the fish! then wat am i supposed to use? told them already tt i wanna use em today. but hell, see.... arrrggghhh i hate these things when it happens. and i caught a glimpse of wat she took with my DVcam. there's like a bloody lampost stuck thruout the video take!!! wat the fish! why would anyone wanna include a lampost in a video?? answer me fakhirah!!! i could have done better. super confirm + stamped + warranty. wasted man.... i think i'm gonna go for the ego trip again on the 15th for the final fireworks...... and i'm gonna set up my camera and i'm gonna set up my DVcam. ain't no one's gonna stop me from doing wat i do best! aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh....
hell man, i've been saying hell a lot aren't i? shld change it to heaven somehow. but i can't.... maybe not now. cos i'm like heavily sinned inside as a human. so maybe one day i'll change and just be much more solemn than i am now. *pray jufF pray* and i shall try to cut down on the F word and the cheese buns and the lunch boxes and watever else there is.
by the way, i think i owe my mum an apology. cos i was super irritated when she called my like in 5 minute intervals kinda thing just to ask where i am. "so where are u? i'm stuck with the rest at this traffic jam. we're at the bridge near esplanade..." and she called me thrice just to tell me the same thing and i answered her the same answer thrice too... this is wat i said..."so wat u want me to do? lift all the cars and tell them to move is it? i can't do anything wat!! so just stay there lah and i'm not coming over to sit in the car and get stuck with u guys altogether!" kinda attitude huh?
but i dunno.... wat wld u do if u were me? i was already pissed with singaporeans showing their ugly ugly attitude. show no care and just neglect everything they come across. step on the beautiful shrubs surrounding the esplanade until they're flattened as if a huge cow had sat on it. then when coming down the not working escalators, they use both sides plus the stairs. so how do pple wanna go up? idiots! and they lack of respect for the green city. litter everywhere and it's only for this small little display of fireworks. i pity the cleaners and the gardeners and whoever is involved in rebuilding the carnage singaporeans leave behind. wake up singaporeans! it's freakin national day! so just do ur part and let others enjoy this day too as a singaporean. who's listening anyway. if i had my camera... i'd have taken photos of those areas tt's been left in the wake of the event and just put em in the newspaper and give this freakin singaporeans a wake up call. buttholes!
ok... enuff being pissed for a day. national day is today. so, i wanna be patriotic a little and just sing the national anthem [and it's called Majulah Singapura and not 'Mari Kita' for those who dunno... (gundus)] when it's played and just enjoy the parade from the comfort of my own sofa.... cheers singapore but not those singaporeans who have crude oil in their hearts!
happy national day.....
Saturday, August 07, 2004
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long live the king!
::jufFeNder | | 8/07/2004 06:07:00 PM |
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Yeah all of em are calling me king now. sorry if i haven blogged in a while. a lil busy and such. well let's do a lil rekept of the week shall we? ok... so i there's a reason why i put the title tt way. cos i had this department karaoke competition thingy on thursday. yeah almost all the pple were there from the whole department. it was supposed to be a karaoke competition, but as u all know i'm the weird one out. always. so i decided to do the weird stuff weird pple do. instead of them listening to me karaoke-ing, i told em i'd just play a tune out of the guitar. in a way, i'm still performing. so chinese songs after chinese songs... it became my turn... they're so friendly and such nice pple, they dun mind me playing unplugged.... so i went up and played 'wherever you will go' by the calling. just liked tt song lah. a few slip of the fingers but hell i just did my stuff there. then after tt was like a short dinner.... when they announced the result at the end of the whole competition, they were like.... 2nd runner up... jason! *huge applause* 1st runner up... the person who defied all karaoke rules.... juffry!! *applause* and champion! dorothy!!! *applause* but she's damn good man!!! shld hear her voice.... she was maintaining that mesmerizing voice thruout the song! and it was pretty high as well.... so when they announced the queen.... it was none other than dorothy! yeah, she's good.... then the weirdest moment was ... the king of karaoke goes to.... i really thought tt it wld be jason cos it'll be so inappropriate to give anyone else tt title.... but hell, they shouted my name...... so i was like..... WAT THE HELL! so i got this crown wic is now on my PC at work, got 2 very nice mugs or coffee tumbler like tt... or something like half the size of the starbucks coffee holder. well, it's the thought tt counts rite? and they called me king from then on? whahwhaa... king kong more like it... haah.... but the judges thought tt i was kinda good in tt thing.... *self-praise* whawhahaa... well, the day before i had this overtime thingy wic lasted all the way till 2 in the morn... yes, so it's like.... i reached work at 9 in the morning, then go home at 2 the next morning and then came back to work at 9 in the morning. DAMN! but my efforts paid off.... my photos were published on the chinese newspaper. yes it's tt article on the 117 prostitutes caught and such.... i took photos of the operations and yeah it came out on newspaper! so i can archieve it as my own work now. i'm tt damn good aren't i? whahawhahahaha.... well now i'm tired...i just came home like 3 pm just now... went to bishan to check out some tix at the sistic outlet. think i'm goin there again on monday or tuesday or something..... now i wanna chill... then tml watch some fireworks.. and monday, OFF DAY!! NATIONAL DAY!!... cool.... shtuff.... "i msged u cos i missed u...and guess wat... it made my day so much better..."
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
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tadaa!!!
::jufFeNder | | 8/03/2004 11:05:00 PM |
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Lately i'm beginning to to find that when i drive myself, my life is found... yeah tt's the lyrics from incubus' Drive. seems like i'm on the verge of things. finding things in me wic somehow is hidden. or maybe make use of my available talents or skills and just make it known to the world.
i've had my fair share of work these few days, with reports of articles coming in free flow. but i'm taking them in my stride as promised. hope i'll do a gd job for august's issue of Police Life Magazine. yeah, in charge of doing wat article goes where and everything. slowly picking up the ropes from my senior asy-syafii. he's good man! and he's like gonna further his studies in australia after this. journalism and something else i heard.... yeah so all the best to him. cool dude.
and karaoke's on this thursday! yeah, it's a department thing. they're like organising a karaoke competition within the groups of the organisation and i've been arrowed and shot down to perform for tt day. i wonder who's mouth is it to shoot out at me.... damn! must be nursharil!!! but i told dorothy, the in charge, tt if they can't find the song tt i can sing how? she was like, so depressed and stressed when i told her tt.... so i just picked up the pieces and told her why not i do an unplugged with a guitar and sing the song tt i wanna sing.... and she just went.... YIIIIPPPPEEEE! conned! and so, this thursday, an informal gig goin on at senior officer's mess [SPOM]. so i'm one of em who's gonna be displayed. so we'll see how tt goes.... *prays* also, tejay, who's this internet fren of mine, asked me to sing for his band. so it's like so many things goin on at once. i'd want to give tt a try. and it's like scheduled this friday nite. let's just see wat they can play.... and maybe i can fit in.
well i'm starting to miss my frens... missing the times at the barrack where everything is so planned and just there for us to enjoy. missed the days where we'd go to each other's beds and just slacked and talked bout everything under the sun. and 5 of us wld like jam up firdaus' bed and make him so mad! haah... those were the days.... sigh.... well they're not the only pple i'm missing in life rite now.... there's still my sec sch frens and my band members.... her...... arrgggghhh... let me see them soon cos i'm so due for a miracle to happen to me... just hope they're doin fine...
"it's hard missing you and moving on with life at the same time... any alternatives?"
Sunday, August 01, 2004
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constellations, paradise... you
::jufFeNder | | 8/01/2004 12:24:00 AM |
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Was just admiring that picture. yeah tt one on the left. it was taken by hasry back then when we're havin tt trip to tioman. and i didn't know he took tt photo of me when we're exploring the island. but it's awesome. uploaded it, then went to photoshop to do some editing. yeah so tt's like the final outcome. didn't wanna change the colour much but the mood is there. just constellations in paradise while thinking of 'you'. but i like tt picture a lot. just suits me u know...
i spent half the saturday at work and it rained. rode to work as well, thru the rain. yeah been a while since i did tt. was just finishing up some articles and before i know it, it's time to go home. but i didn't go home and sleep. cos i couldn't. was just finding my spot on the sofa, and just watched tv or daydreamed my way past time. yeah in other words... slacked.
been thinking abt a few things but hell it doesn't matter anymore does it. sometimes, i just feel like i'm trapped somewhere and i just wanna escape. i wanna spend a day where i can't hear my mum going...'so how's work today, what did you do, what did you eat for lunch, what did your boss say, what time you finish work, how's the traffic when you're comin home etc etc etc...' all at once... sometimes i find it irritating when i hear tt... i just wanna go somewhere where i can just be by myself. u know.... escape. but in singapore it's impossible to do tt.... unless i can take out the sofa, and place it at the rooftop of the HDB estate and just sit and watch the sunset and welcome the constellations out to light the night sky. tt, i guess wld be the most awesome thing i wanna do someday. with someone real close to my heart preferably. then we'll just sit there close to each other, talk about a few things over a bowl of something nice to eat and just sit and watch the stars and accompanied by some really really nice music..... how abt tt?
fantasies.... hard to make them come true, but once they do... man.... oh yah.... comment on the pic ya... cheers!
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