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| exp3r|encEs |n L|f3 exPresS3d thRu mY thoUGhts.... |
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||--str|v3 n3ver t0 eQuaL buT t0 exCeL--||
Saturday, July 28, 2007
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de-stress
::jufFeNder | | 7/28/2007 11:09:00 AM |
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okay... this entry may not sound pleasing at all.... bottled up emotions that paracounsellors would hate to hear me whining about... but i need to whine this out. i need to let it out of my system even though i've not been asleep for the past god knows how many hours and the fact that i'm tired, beat, disappointed and the barest fact of all is that i'm so pissed with some people that it really makes me feel like running towards them at top speed and giving them one slice of a real good flying kick at the end of it the very moment they open their god damned mouths to utter words that they have not even thought deep enough the implications and that would make me feel real real good.
the one thing that i do not understand is why individuals chose to have a job that might appear mundane or even routine to them day in and day out. however even when it appears as mundane or pathetic to them in a few instances, they choose not to improvise it or even try to make it better so that perhaps the workflow or the process could be much better to deal with. naybe i should try to give myself sime of the answers.... some say it's because right here in homeland singapore, you gotta have a job in order to stay afloat.... carry balls, lick em and do much less than what is required of you is the highway to success.... the ones who work as hard to make things appear as it is, getting results thru blood, sweat and tears and slogging it for the suckers who does the direct opposite will in turn only be recognised after the ball suckers have been recognised.
let me just break it down to some issues which i feel that is really getting on my nerves....
one~ fitness...... one big word for what i do.... a requirement that needs to be met in order to place yourselves in the list of those who will be eligible to be elevated the next coming year. again.... there are two groups of people....
one... people who slog it out day in and day out in the gym, tracks and spending time to get in shape and score during the actual test day....
the second grp.... people who just tag along and hope or pray that the testers would give these bunch of testicular testees a little glimmer of hope of passing thru talking, painful expressions and other suck up techniques....
the painful part.... when these suckers got thru and got the results they wanted, they brag about it and belittle the rest whom have not cleared the obstacle yet. the ones who trained and got the results they rightfully deserve will feel like hey... it's not even worth it... costhere's no way in hell that the other suckers scrape thru without them peeing in their pants along the way[and still not managing to clear the test in the end].
operations/main duty ~ yes yes.... some may call this job experience and this will lead to complacency and may even lead some to thinking that what they do is right no matter what happens and your thoughts don't matter anymore. bullying or even the art of tai-chi had been perfectly mastered and executed to the new and frail ones. so what if you have the job experience or you stand a little bit higher than the new ones do.... you have little shit for respect and your words can't even be used to hold your actions down cos there are no actions by you.... they call these people NATO... No Action Talk Only. and these people tend to be good with the higher authority cos they wanna show that they can do the job just by opening thier freakin mouths while those newbies do all the sloppy work for you and in the end... you reap the freakin rewards of praise.
bottomline is... i can't stand some of the colleagues that i have to be frank. cos they are such a pain in the ass and it's like a freakin pimple on the buttcheeks. a rank is what you wear and respect is what you earn. no doubt the experience is on you. but still that does not mean that everything else means shit to you cos they're not as important when it comes to putting your neck on the line. wait... you dun want to put your name on the line... cos we are the ones doin it. you may take the glory but we know the story. u have never gained my respect drom day one and when there is that glimmer of hope for that tide to change, you blew it away.
the commitment level and responsibilities are on the downward spiral and i'm getting pretty much sick of it. kudos to my colleagues who slog it out for a better day, being the lubricants in ensuring that the team runs properly... for those who think that they're better off basking in the glory of their ranks and their narrow little egoistic lifestyle, i really pray that i won't have to work with you in the future.
Monday, July 09, 2007
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my ex gf, my fiancee and my future wife
::jufFeNder | | 7/09/2007 11:44:00 AM |
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i've been on leave for my last night shift and yeah i don't take leave unless i've got matters to attend to. well make it that it's hard for me to take leave. that explains why i still have around twenty days to clear before the end of the year.
anyway, took leave to attend my pre-marriage course, which was essential before marriage here in Singapore. it's something to inculcate the basic teachings in Islam on building a successful marriage. the ingredients the spices and the right amount of heat needed to make the marriage nice and not burnt.
it's a great course actually. learnt things that i was not sure about before and knowing that i have to do a lot lot more of howework before i can step home saying i'm married. well marriage is a big big thing, a leap of faith i should say. and to do that, i need to be prepared physically, mentally, financially and mmost importantly spiritually. well i guess my fiancee and i realised that we have to work towards a common goal and achieve the future that we want to achieve. after the marriage day, everything else will start with 'we' and egos will have to be put aside and balancing the different factors in life will be a challenge. but insyallah we'll see if we can work together and put differences aside and achieve what's best for us.
anyway my mum siad that i went for the course a lil bit early but i feel that i need to know what's needed of me before i get married and not at the last minute when i don't have time to brush up or find out abt the things that's needed in a husband. well at least after goin for the course i feel that i have the time factor to work on it. i'm not perfect you know, so i have to learn a lot of things and i mean a lot of things, prepare financially, mentally know that the challenges of a couple is greater than what i'm facing now and the physical demands to balance work and life as it is had just doubled.
all in all, i'm looking forward to the challenges ahead and living a life anew. all these packaged along with my ex-gf, my fiancee and my future wife.
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