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| exp3r|encEs |n L|f3 exPresS3d thRu mY thoUGhts.... |
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||--str|v3 n3ver t0 eQuaL buT t0 exCeL--||
Monday, May 22, 2006
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2 steps forward 1 step back
::jufFeNder | | 5/22/2006 11:23:00 PM |
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I don't know why but i kept changing back to this layout... maybe cos it's just a bit inclined to what i like. it's my blog anyway. oh well, i'm gonna crash out now. in-service is bound tomorrow. and yes they're running at the old PA as well. cool. can't wait to get back there. miss that place. wondering when the wild parrots could have a reunion game there. our home turf, unofficially that is. haah.
anyway i love my life... it's awesomely weird but awesome nonetheless....
Saturday, May 13, 2006
hunny's down with the pox and i'm missing her already. it's the 3rd day of the pox and i know she's feeling damn terrible cos i can tell by her voice. just endure k dear? continue popping those medication and applying those lotion. and yes don't scratch....
i managed to register for a class 3 license with SSDC. having my first practical sometime on the 8th of June. pretty far away huh? but what the heck, as long as i'm starting rather than waiting. guess it's something that i wanna do and achieve instead of the force giving it to me and take it for granted. hmmm.... another way of thinking that is....
oh well, so i gotta ration out my moolah and start to ration out more of my time too since i'm gonna attempt most of my lessons on my 2nd off days... so life is like... family, hunny, work, license, leisure and sleep. the five essentials of what i'm having today. so yeah i try to fit in music, sports and things like that along the way if i've got the time. i already took time off from jamming cos i'm feeling tired. and i haven't got time to pen down anything new so far but i'd love to sit down and just write. the ideal scenario is by the beach watching the sunset and waves with her with a notebook in my hand... :)
moving on to work, i think that most of the stuff that we do is a drag. cos i really dun think that some of the actions are necessary, so most of it is redundant and a total duplicate or triplicate of the things we do. why do so much when it takes just a little extra effort to view the first one? still, they'd come down with reasons amounting to convenience among others.
"my hands are at your throat and i think i hate you.... we make the same mistakes..." that had been the first tune in my head everytime i had to do something extra aka 'the necessary' just so that it'll be convenient for others to view what i've done. if i've done it means i've done it, no need to make a big fuss and review it all over again. some things this rebel in me refuse to understand.
hunny i miss you...
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
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relive the 3rd...
::jufFeNder | | 5/03/2006 12:37:00 AM |
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it's the 3rd of may. pretty fast it seems. same time this time last year, i was in the midst of one of the most crucial decision making process in my life. this time last year was the time where i had a lot to think about and a lot to lay out straight. this time last year, i had late days and late nights balancing life as it is and life the way it would be in the future. decisions and consequences and the reality that made it all happen.
funny how things went or how fast things move and how i knew instantaneously that the last train was leaving for a fresh start when I'm stuck in the mud with an option to grab the rope and get dragged out by the moving train or just stay there and pray that i'd stay alive or just sink to the bottomless pit. i had no one to blame or no one to rely on and the decision solely lies on me and me alone.
i prayed that my silent goodbyes would go unnoticed and i'd just sink back into a shadow in the crowds. i prayed that somehow or rather things would just dim out into a fade-to-black and i'd wake up to a whole new reality. somewhere i would like to belong to. but reality had other plans. keep me awake, face the music and sing in harmony to it or be scorned by limitless hatred of possibilities.
i made my decision before i headed out into 4th may. if it happens it happens. if not then i'd remain. solely fate has its hands wrapped around my throat and dragging me on the floor to and fro. decisions that i made had an impact. a huge impact. now and forever it will remain as one that changed the course of my life. all made by my own true actions.
regrets? no. a definite no. though bumpy i'm thankful to god where i am right now. i hope it worked out the same for everyone else. the consequences of my decisions are mine alone. egoistic? yes i am. but it worked out for everyone else i hope they agree. happy and thankful and glad and contented as i am now.... i hope they are too... 4th May.... one year on... here i come... relive the 3rd....
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